Ten Principles of True Friendship

The essence of friendship and getting along with people is to cultivate the ability of putting yourself in their place, and acting accordingly. Friendship is reciprocal. To be liked, one must be ready to make himself likable. That is why Epicurus, the great philosopher said, “Of all the means to insure happiness throughout the whole of life by far the most important is the acquisition of friends.”

What is friendship these days? Modern busy life hardly leaves room for friends. In the modern societies which are turning more and more consumerist and selfish, values of life seem to change faster than the latest model of cell phones. It has become very hard to find true friends who can share everything confidentially.

Ten necessary principles of friendship

1) Proper understanding is the kernel of real friendship. Hence the first principle of friendship is to understand and make others feel important. Since everybody in the world wants to be treated important, you have to be generous with praise and recognition of their accomplishments.

2) On your part, be amicable and congenial to others. Always arguing or striking up a quarrel on the least excuse may irritate any friendship and cause a deathblow to friendship. Listen to others and encourage them to talk about themselves.

3) Try to look at friendship positively and appreciate others. Make them feel comfortable with your friendship so that they enjoy your appreciation, advice and help. Let them experience that they are important to you.

4) Friendship should not be just a lip service. It should be real and fostered in heart. Selfish motivated friendships will dwindle and disappear very soon. Try to understand your friend’s mind, his likes and dislikes, and his moods. Try to adjust yourself, though you do not have to tolerate any undesirable attitude. Tolerance is one of the foundations upon which friendship is built, as no one is absolutely perfect.

5) Be careful about your words. . The habit of talking carelessly, of not being able to keep a secret, is at the root of friendships breaking up.

6) They should be reliable and faithful. Never give way to any suspicion and keep your word, no matter how difficult the circumstances may be. They should be assured of your faithfulness. They should realize that you will go to any lengths to keep your promise.

7) Do not desert and betray your friend in any situation especially in their adversities. Betrayal is the death blow to any friendship and shatters friendship. Never be carried away by the gossip mongers’ false tales.

8) Thiruvalluvar, a famous South Indian saint poet, says about the greatness of friendship, “Friendship should be timely like the hand protecting ones shame when the towel slips from the loin.” Stand by your friend in his anxieties and adversities. Try to help your friends in as many ways as possible. Let them feel that they have some one who cares them really.

9) Friendship should not be a mere flattery. Some people do not like their mistakes to be criticized, as it gives them a sense of inferiority. It is the duty of a friend to correct him properly whenever he goes out of track..

10) Do not forget that only constructive criticism can be of much help, provided it is appreciated and accepted. They should not taken as a wounding remark. Always try to share a common interest with your friend. Sharing serves as a bond, and also acts as the motivation for many shared activities. Many friendships spring up on a playing field, in an art gallery, or in places which cater to common interests.

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